These are the things that I would be doing if I wasn't busy doing nothing. Watch
the paint dry this space.
The remaining plans are TOP SECRET. Because the world would steal them the moment they're mentioned, they're THAT GOOD.
- The bust of Caroline Lucas
- Bring a ruler on a Ryanair flight so I could measure the advertising in front of the seat so I could then make a sticker to cover it.
- Open a butcher's shop with a window sign that says 'curated sausages'. And a swingers' club in the basement. [shelved indefinitely]
- Build a puppet theatre and play with salmon fish heads. They would have different voices. [shelved indefinitely]
- Write a short story starring Osprey and Black-Backed Gull, who live in the pictures at The White Swan. They have a long-standing hatred of
each other. When suits get drunk, the birds come out of their picture frame and chuck cold chips at each other.
- Cook food from books. Get mother involved too as she's interested in this.
- Write a story about a priest who has to watch all the other people get married and secretly thinks bad thoughts during the ceremony.
- Set up a moth book club lives for one month a year.
- Translate the gazelle book into English and then translate my mother's photography book.
- Create a drinking game to go with Prime Minister's Questions. You drink when someone says key phrases, such as "hard working families". [shelved indefinitely]
Take me home